I spent 15 years as a foster parent

The end of our journey.

Hey everyone! I’m Sean.

I’m a foster and adoptive parent, and I believe it’s one of the most rewarding experiences you can have. Today, I want to share everything you need to know if you’re considering foster parenting.

Why Do We Need Foster Parents?

There’s a massive need for foster parents. Many kids require safe environments when their parents are facing difficulties. A dedicated network of social workers, therapists, and foster care professionals work tirelessly—often behind the scenes—to support these children. But despite their efforts, there are more kids in need than there are foster homes. That’s why every foster parent matters.

Is Foster Parenting Right for You?

It’s totally normal to feel uncertain. Many people worry they’re not “ready” or “qualified” enough to be foster parents. But if you’re interested, just reach out to your State’s Child Protection Agency. They’ll guide you through the process, help you understand what’s involved, and find a way that might work for you.

My Personal Story

I started my journey as a single person. Initially, I wasn’t sure if I could do it alone, but a cousin of mine adopted as a single parent, showing me it was possible. Then, I read an article about children orphaned during the AIDS crisis in New York. The thought of so many kids in need deeply affected me, and I realized I wanted to help.

The Foster Parent Application Process

1. Interview and Home Study: Once you sign up, a caseworker will interview you and visit your home to see if it’s a good fit. In New Jersey, they determine the maximum number of children you can accommodate based on your home’s space.

2. Training: You’ll attend classes on how to support children who may have experienced trauma or have medical or emotional needs. This training helps you feel prepared for the challenges and rewards of fostering.

3. Background Check: Finally, you’ll go through fingerprinting and a background check. Once you’re approved, you’re officially in the system as a licensed foster parent.

What Happens Next?

After getting your license, you wait for a call about a child in need. This could be short-term, like respite care for a weekend, or potentially long-term. They’ll provide details so you can decide if it’s a fit for you, and you’re always free to say no if it doesn’t feel right.

Flexibility Is Key

One essential aspect of foster parenting is flexibility. You can’t go into it expecting a specific type of child or situation. These kids need stability and love. Sometimes they come with challenges, and sometimes they bring joy and light to your home. They’ve often been through a lot, and the goal is to support them, not necessarily to fulfill a wish list.

The Challenge of Letting Go

One of the hardest parts is saying goodbye when a child leaves to reunite with their family. It’s emotional, but if reuniting with their family is best for them, that’s what matters. The caseworkers monitor the children even after reunification to ensure their safety, which helps bring some peace of mind.

Our Experience as Long-Term Foster Parents

My husband and I fostered a child for two years—the longest time allowed before adoption becomes an option. It was tough dealing with the uncertainties and unpredictability, but we learned that flexibility and patience are essential. The foster care system involves many moving parts, and things can change unexpectedly.

The Rewards of Fostering

The children we’ve fostered have been wonderful. We loved taking them on weekend trips, camping, and giving them experiences they might not have had before. In New Jersey, the foster system tries to provide foster kids with the same experiences as other kids. Whether it’s summer camp or a family trip, the agency often helps cover costs so the kids can fully participate. Seeing their world expand and giving them positive experiences amid the challenges they face is truly special.

Ready to Learn More?

This was my first video on foster parenting, and after 15 years in the system, I’ve gathered a lot to share! We even adopted our child through New Jersey’s foster system, which I’ll cover in a future video.

If this inspired you or if you’re considering fostering, let me know in the comments. Share your story or any questions you have, and don’t forget to subscribe and follow the playlist for upcoming videos. Thanks for watching, and I’ll see you next time!